im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
