got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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