He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
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