Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
