And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
