I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
