yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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