She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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