She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
that may or may not have been my penis.
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