We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
