dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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