ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
