I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
This is the high leading the old right now
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
