So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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