He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
