Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
