Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
