I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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