nut hugger
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
