New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
My vagina just clenched in fear
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
