So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
