If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
