No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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