I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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