I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
