So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
