yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
