You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
