The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
