it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
vagina is talking i cant
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
