the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
40s are totally the cure
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
