i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
