His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The feeling are messing with the penis
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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