Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Randomize
