that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
