Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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