how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
