Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
