i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
