Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
