need another drink. this is the easiest way
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
