Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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