Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
