Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
