Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
