Dual....:-)
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Never underestimate the power of titties
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
