Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
