Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
