Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
