exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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